I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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