my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
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