if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
