that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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