My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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