Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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