Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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