she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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