please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
