it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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