At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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