Having a random hookup so left but love u
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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