I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
