take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
