my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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