Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
