dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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