3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
