We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
