Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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