anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize