I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
