you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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