Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
