I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
