One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
