so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
