GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
