We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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