my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
