I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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