We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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