i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
