$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize