He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
