I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
