Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
