I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize