You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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