Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
