I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
