and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
barbara walters just said penis...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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