Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
