fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
