Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
