You can't motorboat a personality
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
