My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
