kristin has been a bad kristin
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.