yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.