If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!