Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  did you hook up austin?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): did you hook up austin? (248): No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed http://tfl.nu/3mnz
  Replies (5) Good night (838) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch. http://tfl.nu/syjm
  Replies (57) Good night (17003) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully. http://tfl.nu/qn1h
  Replies (119) Good night (12329) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade. http://tfl.nu/dxnr
  Replies (14) Good night (1200) Bad night (3229)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day. http://tfl.nu/x5t9
  Replies (20) Good night (3553) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible http://tfl.nu/my4k
  Replies (17) Good night (8344) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud. http://tfl.nu/cvat
  Replies (15) Good night (5771) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!" http://tfl.nu/yfbj
  Replies (19) Good night (6484) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun. http://tfl.nu/0mma
  Replies (10) Good night (3767) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong... http://tfl.nu/4k47
  Replies (7) Good night (3906) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty" http://tfl.nu/fxst
  Replies (4) Good night (2492) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant http://tfl.nu/dw7g
  Replies (7) Good night (2355) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work http://tfl.nu/e66y
  Replies (11) Good night (3861) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know. http://tfl.nu/qron
  Replies (1) Good night (293) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob. http://tfl.nu/2wm2
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (335)

Randomize