is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.