I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
