i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
