dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
