Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
