Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it's great music for shaving your balls
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
