So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
