In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
