i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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