Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
