Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
