Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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