I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
